Prisoner of Parkinson's law

It's another Saturday night and I'm totally under house arrest for breaking Parkinson's law. Every once in a while I learn a theory in school and then talk about it in casual conversation as if I've known it for years and believe it's common knowledge. When I learned about "sunk costs" I started mentioning sunk costs like it was nbd (no big deal). "We don't have to go to the movie if we don't want to because the $1.50 we spent on the ticket is a sunk cost." "Don't finish your ice cream if you are too full to actually enjoy it, it's a sunk cost." It's lines like these that make me the lady killer that I am. In fact, If any of my bros out there need pointers, I got lines on "Competitive advantage" that I learned in econ last semester and my latest and greatest hit is "Parkinson's law". It's really taking the co-eds by storm.

Parkinson's law says Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. (Thanks Wikipedia) I have two tests coming this week, both with a Tuesday deadline. This means I have until Tuesday night at 9:00 p.m. to study because that's when the last test is handed out at the testing center. Parkinson's law says that I will allot hours of time to studying and tell friends I can't hang out because I need to study and then waste time looking up YouTube videos and looking at photos of friends on facebook until around 3:00 p.m on Tuesday.
I am such a sucker for skimming through friends photos on facebook. What really gets me is when a friend is tagged in a stranger's album and I'm just clicking away looking at pictures of my friend and then they aren't there anymore and then after a couple dozen photos I "come to" and realize I don't recognize a single person in the "Prom 2008! <3" album I just finished.
I hope this happens to other people, but at the same time I wouldn't wish the feeling I feel afterward upon anyone. It's not unlike the feeling a 5 year old gets when he realizes he has walked out of the store with the bouncy ball he saw on aisle 3. He wasn't trying to steal but some how it happened and he feels terrible when he realizes what he's done. Again, it's possible I'm the only one who has ever experienced this. Maybe everyone else is more aware of what they themselves are doing with their own limbs. Maybe I'm the only accidental stalker/thief and no one can relate. Speaking of which, how do comedians know that the quirks they talk about are universal?

I remember Jeff Foxworthy talking about squishing Jello around in his mouth which is something I do and everyone in the audience laughing did it too obviously. But what if Foxworthy talked about squishing jello in his cheeks and his audience thought, "squishing jello between your teeth and your cheeks? What is he talking about!?" Comedy seems like a risky business. Choose one unique quirk and you're out on the streets being forced to move your show to TBS.
Anyways, Parkison's law is what is keeping me from studying right now. I really only need to study for a couple of hours. I'll probably need between 3:00 pm and 8:00 pm on Tuesday. In the mean time, I'll be waking up early to have more study time, rejecting offers to go do fun things with friends, and skipping fhe because I have, "TWO big exams this week that I need to study for." What I actually do during those times is play dice wars and catch up with my friend hulu.

People have suggested an easy solution would be to set my own deadline for when I will take the test like...for example...Monday morning. That way the work can only expand to fill my time until Monday morning. Well I'm glad all of you are comfortable lying to yourselves but personally I just can't fool myself into doing that. I know when the real deadline is. I know come Monday morning I don't truly have to study and take the test. I have until Tuesday night at 9:00 pm and that's the way it is. That's law...Parkinson's law.
I wish I could write more but I REALLY need to get studying.

Why did I ever quit my stand up career?

Why did I give this up? Such passion. Such laughter. The hilarious accent, the professional delivery, the...tears? Don't ask me why I started crying when the big mouth frog asks Mr. Horse what horses eat. Must have recalled some memory from my even earlier childhood. Looking back, I'd have to say I enjoyed my comedy career, but it was just too emotionally draining.

Why did I ever end my acting career?

This is me in the 6th grade. Such passion. Such swordsmanship. I portray the nothingness of death so well. Why did I ever end my acting career?




This was my favorite scene because I got to say "damn" and it was chase's favorite scene because he got to call me a "hell hound"

figuring out life

I'm sitting in the Career Center at BYU surrounded by other students who don't know what they want to do with their life. The guy directly to my right just stopped reading, "great jobs for Computer Science majors" and picked up "careers in Medicine." Turns out I'm not the only occupational bipolar kid around here.
I'm starting to enjoy figuring out life. Before it was stressing me out but I've realized what an awesome predicament I have. While the majority of the world is wondering how they will pay rent or where their next meal will come from, my problems are, "I have too many interests." and "I have the capacity to be most anything I want to be and therefore don't know which path to choose." I feel bratty and spoiled that these are my current problems but they are. It turns out that this is actually a very common problem (Dr. CS and I aren't the only ones in the career center) and there are tons of interest tests and books and resources out there. The most helpful one I've found is a book by Patrick Combs called "Major in Success." He's made some really good points. He said do whatever you are passionate about. Well Duh. The problem is I don't know what I'm passionate about or my interests change every week. He said that is fine. He said that is what college is about. It's just a big super market of courses and you should try to figure out what interests you. So, that's where I am right now. He suggests thinking of your dream day. Not a day dream but a dream day. He puts out 2 questions. First. What would you love to be paid to do? and second, What would I do if I was certain I couldn't fail?
If I could be paid to do anything, it would be to make people laugh. I really like making people laugh. I've always said that my dream job would be to have a Column similar to Dave Barry. I respect that guy a lot and I want to have his job. Making people laugh would be my dream job.
If I was guaranteed to not fail?
I would try to solve the world's problems. Medical problems, social problems etc. I would try to help people.

Bloggers lament

I don't mean to boast but I consider myself a pretty witty guy. I'm quick with a joke, or I'll light up your smoke, but when it comes to blogging, there's someplace that I'd rather be. Things just don't come and fit together when I sit down and blog. So, this is my lament. I wish I was good at blogging because then the whole world would be able to appreciate my awesomeness and boyish good looks. That's all I have to say about that.

This picture is from the other night when we went and played music on Benny Whoduh street. This guy was a drunk pirate and yelled and had some nice boots. We made 125 shekel making music for a few hours. It was fun.

Overdue Jru

So here I am in the Holy City of Jerusalem. I think this blog is way over due. Here is a picture of me being a shepherd.
That's all I have time for.

June 2009



I brought home a friend from Italy for a few days. It was a highlight of the year I guess. Domenico was able to accomplish one of his dreams. A lot of people helped him out. My mom helped a ton and so did x missionaries. He had a huge checklist of things to do. In his words he wanted to 1. take a walk 2. get some gelato and 3. eat some pizza 4. stop by the White House and speak with Obama 5. See the statue of liberty and buy 50 statue of liberty figurines. We were able to check most of the things off of his list.



Fly for the first time...Check.














Listen to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir live...check.









Go see animals with Luc...check.










Eat at a Japanese Steak House where they cook right in front of you














(yep, that's him running away from the table)





Eating at this restaurant actually wasn't on the list but it's clear we were wise to add it














See the Statue of Liberty...CHECK.











I want to thank a lot of people for helping Domenico live his dream of coming to America. Especially my mom. Thanks mom.