Saturday, January 29, 2011

Prisoner of Parkinson's law

It's another Saturday night and I'm totally under house arrest for breaking Parkinson's law. Every once in a while I learn a theory in school and then talk about it in casual conversation as if I've known it for years and believe it's common knowledge. When I learned about "sunk costs" I started mentioning sunk costs like it was nbd (no big deal). "We don't have to go to the movie if we don't want to because the $1.50 we spent on the ticket is a sunk cost." "Don't finish your ice cream if you are too full to actually enjoy it, it's a sunk cost." It's lines like these that make me the lady killer that I am. In fact, If any of my bros out there need pointers, I got lines on "Competitive advantage" that I learned in econ last semester and my latest and greatest hit is "Parkinson's law". It's really taking the co-eds by storm.

Parkinson's law says Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. (Thanks Wikipedia) I have two tests coming this week, both with a Tuesday deadline. This means I have until Tuesday night at 9:00 p.m. to study because that's when the last test is handed out at the testing center. Parkinson's law says that I will allot hours of time to studying and tell friends I can't hang out because I need to study and then waste time looking up YouTube videos and looking at photos of friends on facebook until around 3:00 p.m on Tuesday.
I am such a sucker for skimming through friends photos on facebook. What really gets me is when a friend is tagged in a stranger's album and I'm just clicking away looking at pictures of my friend and then they aren't there anymore and then after a couple dozen photos I "come to" and realize I don't recognize a single person in the "Prom 2008! <3" album I just finished.
I hope this happens to other people, but at the same time I wouldn't wish the feeling I feel afterward upon anyone. It's not unlike the feeling a 5 year old gets when he realizes he has walked out of the store with the bouncy ball he saw on aisle 3. He wasn't trying to steal but some how it happened and he feels terrible when he realizes what he's done. Again, it's possible I'm the only one who has ever experienced this. Maybe everyone else is more aware of what they themselves are doing with their own limbs. Maybe I'm the only accidental stalker/thief and no one can relate. Speaking of which, how do comedians know that the quirks they talk about are universal?

I remember Jeff Foxworthy talking about squishing Jello around in his mouth which is something I do and everyone in the audience laughing did it too obviously. But what if Foxworthy talked about squishing jello in his cheeks and his audience thought, "squishing jello between your teeth and your cheeks? What is he talking about!?" Comedy seems like a risky business. Choose one unique quirk and you're out on the streets being forced to move your show to TBS.
Anyways, Parkison's law is what is keeping me from studying right now. I really only need to study for a couple of hours. I'll probably need between 3:00 pm and 8:00 pm on Tuesday. In the mean time, I'll be waking up early to have more study time, rejecting offers to go do fun things with friends, and skipping fhe because I have, "TWO big exams this week that I need to study for." What I actually do during those times is play dice wars and catch up with my friend hulu.

People have suggested an easy solution would be to set my own deadline for when I will take the test like...for example...Monday morning. That way the work can only expand to fill my time until Monday morning. Well I'm glad all of you are comfortable lying to yourselves but personally I just can't fool myself into doing that. I know when the real deadline is. I know come Monday morning I don't truly have to study and take the test. I have until Tuesday night at 9:00 pm and that's the way it is. That's law...Parkinson's law.
I wish I could write more but I REALLY need to get studying.